Session 20: Making Decisions

This session focuses on motivating yourself to incorporate the principles of Healing H.E.R. into your life. If you’re asking, “How do I get started on this healing journey?” or “How can I internalize these concepts?”, I have an exercise that can help. Using the acronym D.A.R.N.—which stands for Desire, Ability, Reason, and Need—you can measure your readiness for change. On a piece of paper, draw a horizontal line from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 the highest. Use this scale to rate yourself in four areas:

• Desire: How strong is your desire to make a change?
• Ability: How capable do you feel of making this change?
• Reason: Why is it important to change?
• Need: How urgent is this change in your life?

For example, if you’re thinking about buying a car, you might rate your desire at 7, your ability at 3, your reason at 7, and your need at 2. If your scores vary widely, it may not be the right time to make that decision. Generally, it’s best to act when your scores for Desire, Ability, Reason, and Need are all above 5. Change Talk, based on Miller & Rollnick’s principles, emphasizes that the more you talk about making a change, the more likely you are to follow through. The mnemonic DARN-CAT can guide your self-reflection:

• Desire: “I want to change.”
• Ability: “I can change.”
• Reason: “It’s important to change.”
• Need: “I should change.”
• Commitment: “I will change.”
• Activation: “I am ready to change.”
• Taking Steps: “I am taking action to change.”

Termination

Workbook page 89