Session 1: Creating New Values and Beliefs

For all of us, life begins with a set of principles and values passed down from our parents, grandparents, teachers, and authority figures. These influences shape our foundation and guide our beliefs. Reflect for a moment: what values have you been given? The people in our lives create and mold our world. This illustration shows a tree diagram where the roots represent your foundational beliefs and values. These roots ground your life and provide stability, while the branches depict how these beliefs grow and shape the outcomes you experience.

What common values do you see in your life? Reflect and write your thoughts: The first people who demonstrated values to me were my parents. They were loving, caring, and nurturing. My dad worked as a welder at Chrysler, while my mom worked in a nursing home for most of my childhood. We lived in North County, Saint Louis, MO. My dad later retired early and started his own business. My parents were both seen as leaders in our community, frequently approached for advice and assistance. I looked up to them and admired the values they demonstrated. I grew up with two brothers, and I was the middle child. My mom often pulled me aside to share wisdom about life, like how to start a bank account or dress appropriately. Those lessons left a lasting impact. We spent a lot of time together as a family, especially at church. While I didn’t fully understand everything my parents had endured in their youth, they often shared stories—both humorous and painful—about their experiences. Despite life’s challenges, I never remember missing a meal or hearing my parents argue. They were devoted, walking us to the school bus, packing our lunches, playing with us at the park, standing up for us, and comforting us when we were hurt. They invested time and money to keep us safe and away from the streets. From ages 8 to 18, I participated in both school and summer track, competing in the AAU Junior Olympics and the Missouri State Track Championship. I also played varsity basketball and volleyball, which kept me busy and taught me valuable lessons about dedication and discipline. Yet, like every family, we faced moments of pain. I recall the profound sadness when my grandmother passed away. She was a strong, churchgoing woman who adored her family and often made us homemade biscuits. One summer, I watched her cook, never realizing that the pain she later endured was from cancer. The memory of visiting her in the hospital, seeing my warrior grandmother lying in a bed not her own, is etched in my mind. My uncle kissed her with tear-filled eyes, knowing it would be his last time. It was the first time I saw my mother fall to her knees in prayer, pleading with God for strength. That night shaped my beliefs about family and faith. Watching my mother cry out to God showed me His presence, even in our darkest moments. It created an enduring image of hope and faith for me. Now, let’s shift the focus to you. Think back to your own life, as far as you can remember. Reflect on the moments—both good and bad— that have shaped your values. Recognize that your values are woven into the fabric of your life. While you can’t change where your values came from, you can create new ones and break free from patterns that keep you stuck.

Bring your mind back to the present. Acknowledge the disappointments, detours, and dramas that have occurred. Your future can be greater if you replace negative beliefs with empowering ones. Some memories are worth treasuring, while others you may prefer to forget or have repressed. Still, your current reality is shaped by a script you wrote through these experiences. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” This verse emphasizes the power of our thoughts. Healing isn’t determined by what you’ve gone through but rather by what you choose to believe now. This table is designed to help you reflect on your beliefs. In one column, you list old, limiting beliefs that have held you back, and in the other, you write new, empowering beliefs you want to cultivate.

Commitment Is Key

The word "belief" means to commit. What will you commit to in your life? A new relationship? A fresh idea? A financial goal? Don’t let past scripts detour you from your purpose. Traumatic experiences—abuse, neglect, or deep hurts—may have left you feeling unworthy. Yet, holding onto these memories only binds you to the pain.

Reflect on your journey and choose whether you will stay committed to the old wounds or commit to healing. If you choose the latter, you activate the promise in Proverbs 23:7. Healing comes when you commit to a new, healthy belief system. Forgiveness clears the heart, and with a clean slate, we can establish new principles to guide our lives. Remember: What you nurture in your heart will shape your reality. Refuse to let negative thoughts and past hurts dictate your future.

Workbook page 14